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Light the shadows
Thursday, May 07, 2009
8:44 pm
I feel aimless and empty now. Don't know what's next, don't know what to expect. It's gone. We lost to a better team without a doubt but we still weren't playing at our best. We lack the finishing touch. But it's something which we did not manage to find and put in place. It's left to the juniors to find it for the future. I think that was what Jiao Lian was trying to say but I didn't fully understand what she was saying. Felt like there was something more to it.
The more I think about it, the worse I feel. At first I felt okay. I thought we played alright and I tried to be more alert and light and tried to spike well though I never really achieved any of that in actual fact. Then seeing Jurong beat Anderson just pulled me down a lot because if we had played well, we could have seen that happening to us too. Who knows NY or VJ might have been off form that day. We always know how good we can be but we never ever show it. So what's the point. I haven't played at my top form at any competition before as far as I can remember. And my top forms don't last anyway. We aren't very consistent. Sometimes we have it sometimes we don't.
And I have arrived at a conclusion that hard work doesn't get you very far. Yes maybe you'll improve. But it's not enough. You need hard work X1000, attitude and mental strength and probably a whole long list of other things. I feel somewhat a loser. I know we've gained a lot this whole period and I've had the best team and best friends ever. But to see what we worked for vanish is kind of sad. Oh well, someone has to be out. I don't know what I should do for Monday's match though. Should I continue doing what I did to prepare or just go for it and whack? It's our last and I hope that it'll be good. Really hope to show for once how good we can be.. And really hope to end this chapter off decently well.
