<body><!-- --><div id="flagi" style="visibility:hidden; position:absolute;" onmouseover="showDrop()" onmouseout="hideDrop()"><div id="flagtop"></div><div id="top-filler"></div><div id="flagi-body">Notify Blogger about objectionable content.<br /><a href="http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=1200"> What does this mean? </a> </div></div><div id="b-navbar"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/" id="b-logo" title="Go to Blogger.com"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/3/logobar.gif" alt="Blogger" width="80" height="24" /></a><div id="b-sms" class="b-mobile"><a href="sms:?body=Hi%2C%20check%20out%20-%20callmeSY%20at%20-callmesy.blogspot.com">Send As SMS</a></div><form id="b-search" name="b-search" action="http://search.blogger.com/"><div id="b-more"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/" id="b-getorpost"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/3/btn_getblog.gif" alt="Get your own blog" width="112" height="15" /></a><a id="flagButton" style="display:none;" href="javascript:toggleFlag();" onmouseover="showDrop()" onmouseout="hideDrop()"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/3/flag.gif" name="flag" alt="Flag Blog" width="55" height="15" /></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/redirect/next_blog.pyra?navBar=true" id="b-next"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/3/btn_nextblog.gif" alt="Next blog" width="72" height="15" /></a></div><div id="b-this"><input type="text" id="b-query" name="as_q" /><input type="hidden" name="ie" value="UTF-8" /><input type="hidden" name="ui" value="blg" /><input type="hidden" name="bl_url" value="-callmesy.blogspot.com" /><input type="image" src="http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/3/btn_search_this.gif" alt="Search This Blog" id="b-searchbtn" title="Search this blog with Google Blog Search" onclick="document.forms['b-search'].bl_url.value='-callmesy.blogspot.com'" /><input type="image" src="http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/3/btn_search_all.gif" alt="Search All Blogs" value="Search" id="b-searchallbtn" title="Search all blogs with Google Blog Search" onclick="document.forms['b-search'].bl_url.value=''" /><a href="javascript:BlogThis();" id="b-blogthis">BlogThis!</a></div></form></div><script type="text/javascript"><!-- var ID = 21749615;var HATE_INTERSTITIAL_COOKIE_NAME = 'dismissedInterstitial';var FLAG_COOKIE_NAME = 'flaggedBlog';var FLAG_BLOG_URL = 'http://www.blogger.com/flag-blog.g?nav=3&toFlag=' + ID;var UNFLAG_BLOG_URL = 'http://www.blogger.com/unflag-blog.g?nav=3&toFlag=' + ID;var FLAG_IMAGE_URL = 'http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/3/flag.gif';var UNFLAG_IMAGE_URL = 'http://www.blogger.com/img/navbar/3/unflag.gif';var ncHasFlagged = false;var servletTarget = new Image(); function BlogThis() {Q='';x=document;y=window;if(x.selection) {Q=x.selection.createRange().text;} else if (y.getSelection) { Q=y.getSelection();} else if (x.getSelection) { Q=x.getSelection();}popw = y.open('http://www.blogger.com/blog_this.pyra?t=' + escape(Q) + '&u=' + escape(location.href) + '&n=' + escape(document.title),'bloggerForm','scrollbars=no,width=475,height=300,top=175,left=75,status=yes,resizable=yes');void(0);} function blogspotInit() {initFlag();} function hasFlagged() {return getCookie(FLAG_COOKIE_NAME) || ncHasFlagged;} function toggleFlag() {var date = new Date();var id = 21749615;if (hasFlagged()) {removeCookie(FLAG_COOKIE_NAME);servletTarget.src = UNFLAG_BLOG_URL + '&d=' + date.getTime();document.images['flag'].src = FLAG_IMAGE_URL;ncHasFlagged = false;} else { setBlogspotCookie(FLAG_COOKIE_NAME, 'true');servletTarget.src = FLAG_BLOG_URL + '&d=' + date.getTime();document.images['flag'].src = UNFLAG_IMAGE_URL;ncHasFlagged = true;}} function initFlag() {document.getElementById('flagButton').style.display = 'inline';if (hasFlagged()) {document.images['flag'].src = UNFLAG_IMAGE_URL;} else {document.images['flag'].src = FLAG_IMAGE_URL;}} function showDrop() {if (!hasFlagged()) {document.getElementById('flagi').style.visibility = 'visible';}} function hideDrop() {document.getElementById('flagi').style.visibility = 'hidden';} function setBlogspotCookie(name, val) {var expire = new Date((new Date()).getTime() + 5 * 24 * 60 * 60 * 1000);var path = '/';setCookie(name, val, null, expire, path, null);} function removeCookie(name){var expire = new Date((new Date()).getTime() - 1000); setCookie(name,'',null,expire,'/',null);} --></script><script type="text/javascript"> blogspotInit();</script><div id="space-for-ie"></div>

Light the shadows
Friday, February 01, 2008
10:38 pm
It's really hard to tell yourself to keep going when you are not improving. I don't want to give up but I don't know how to psycho myself to be happy all the time. I really wonder if anyone can be so strong, I wonder if Mr Tay has ever had his dark days. I've been going downhill since long long ago. The improvements are never all-round or sustainable. The most demoralising of all would be spiking. There's so many things to consider and think about in that one split second. And when Mr Tay means well and tries to encourage me, I think I sink even further inside. I really tried to tell myself to jump higher today but I couldn't do it still. Maybe I lost the concentration, or got lost in my own thoughts. AHHH! I have to urge to scream out loud but I have no where to do that. SAVE ME! Let the next training or next time I'm going to touch the volleyball be better. It's time to go back up, I have been down for too long. I can do it! I just have to relax and build up the confidence in me. Put my best effort in and use all the strength I have at that point of time. Someone please give me the strength to carry on!

Anyway, I feel super exhausted these days. I'm not exactly super sleepy all the time that I crave to sleep, neither am I exactly tired physically as in like no real muscle aches or anything, except when I have to squat to receive balls. I even felt like crumbling down on Wednesday. I think I just need a day when I finally have nothing to do. All homework done, no volleyball, no committments, nothing to think or worry about. I worry too much these days. Everyday on my way home I will feel damn stressed over the work I have to do but the limited time I have. I will go crazy at this rate. I'm still not used to this tutorial and lecture thing. We have to do and read ahead so it's like never ending. And then I worry about whether I can survive GP and Econs. Sigh...

Mr Yong won't be teaching us anymore. Sad. I started out not liking him. But after that first lesson, he's like totally okay and in fact good. Oh well...

Mr Tay just made a great discovery! There are 60 student members in the volleyball team! WOW. We really have grown A LOT.

Tagboard


Links
Clara
Eva
Krystal
Yi Xian
Zhi Xin
Zhuo Wen



Archives
June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009