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Light the shadows
Friday, May 05, 2006
8:27 pm
Did SL duty today with Pei Qi at the foyer for 2.4 km run. We played stupid games that I apparently suck at. Everyone please don't attempt to play hai dai, cai quan or hei bai pei with me. Pei Qi can testify how bad I am at those games. Ji gou pa is still okay though I can't really beat the self-proclaimed queen yet.
Went for training as soon as I was done and over with duty. Suddenly my mood changed. I become really quiet and stoned. I have no idea why. My brain works in such a way that I can't figure it out myself. I felt utterly demoralised AGAIN. Just like during Wednesday's training. I am deproving. It felt even worse and lousier when jiao lian told me how the others were improving and I have to too. I felt so much like crying. I am going to be hard on myself. I need to do something to change things. We played as a team today. It lifted up my spirits a little. But things didn't get to end off with a high note. Ms Tan came and stopped us rather early as usual. And then we had the routine little talk by jiao lian. I sat there and reflected and thought, emotions filled me again.
Oh and I accidentally hurt a little girl indirectly. The ball I hit and got out of hand bounced, rolled and hit her. I totally didn't know how to pacify her. Thanks to Serene... She saved me...
