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Light the shadows
Friday, January 27, 2006
9:06 pm
school has been keeping me really busy. i hardly get to go home early. like this week i stayed back every single weekday till 6 plus. and almost every night i have to use the computer to do this or that. it's quite boring actually. as in i dont enjoy using the computer so often to do work.and very often i stray off to do other things. that part is my fault. CNY is round the corner and yet i still have homework and PROJECT.how cool huh. having to meet up to discuss a project on new year's eve. that's like what im going to do. my father got a big shock when i told him. and i was like "no choice!". i have been really stressed up i think. people around me notice it. like in the past two weeks maybe up to about 6 people have said things like "cherie, you look stressed!" or "cherie, you look sad". such is the effect of long, long days in school and tons of difficult work at school and numerous projects.it's really A LOT. and i almost totally dont remember anything we studied in sec one and two. that totally sucks. like i was sooo blur doing chemistry equations. i think i was the worst. HAHA. and i failed my first geog assignment. what the seniors said are sooooo true. we will fail geog. and if we like geog we will be super disappointed. that's how i am now. mrs bok is sooo strict!i got 3 1/2 upon 10. i wonder if mainstreamers are just as stressed. if not i can just drop to mainstream or i can go to a double science class and take double science!HAHA. i really did ponder with that thought but i think im over it now. im going to work really hard. no digressing while doing work on the computer anymore. and i will plan my time so as to find time to REVISE!haha.i havent done any of that yet. so i hope things will turn out better. =)
i couldnt find my killer whale and boat today in the SC room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO DEAD! my mom will kill me if the killer whale doesnt come out and kill me before she does. and i will sink if my boat is gone. ok that's stupid. but it's really very very XIN TONG losing those two big inflatable things. shucks. they must be so cute that someone stole it from the SC Room. i saw it there earlier on like maybe three weeks ago on that night, that orientation night we used it. i should have brought it home then. shouldnt have been so lazy as to not want to carry it out for supper. ai... i better find it soon. i MUST!! stupid me.
my team is going too well either.it is really sad anyway. and i mean team-o4. not the team as in b girls team.firstly, we have this teammate who REFUSES to go for training. but she has the reason of being sick for now. and then, we have this other teammate who chooses to be influenced by her. STUPID CHOICE i say. why cant she choose to be influenced by zhixin. and we also have another teammate who skips trainings once a while to go out like today. we can forget about competitions next year if things continue like that. seriously FORGET IT. i dont understand how people can just dont care about trainings, dont care about their teammates they built up a relationship with for two years.they seem selfish to me. what's all that thing about "i dont want to go for training", "im losing my passion", "i dont like the coach" or "training is so short.go for what?waste time" every bit counts. and u may not see now that you not coming to training will affect the rest. u will soon enough when the sec4s stop training and go into intensive studying. why do u all have such short visualisations. cant u all look ahead. look at how your actions now will affect us in future. i dont know what i can do honestly cause nobody will listen to me, no one will tell me what they are up to and i have to rely on zhixin to tell me. how great. i feel like a useless captain.i seem to have failed in every single way to keep the team together and things like that. i never bothered saying anything when teammates didnt want to come for training cause i knew that no matter what i said then, it wouldnt change their mind. i tried and i failed. but maybe on the other hand i shouldnt stop trying. and hopefully they will be sensible enough to come and train properly at trainings. i really hope everyone will treat their cca seriously. put in the effort. even if zhixin, serene, eva(most of the time) and me continue to go for trainings regularly and train hard but u guys choose not to come, our team wont be any better.
